The hell, I Am Going Through.

Depression is now taking over the better of me, I cant even keep a jar of cookie in the living room, because if I do the jar empties over night, if a get my self a pack of chips, or a snack or any thing “M” stares at me. I had started having dinners in my room because he stares at every single peace of meat I break and I don’t feel comfortable being stared at while eating and today he sarcastically said that Jamal eats dinner secretly.

My maternal uncle “M” came to live with us when his wife passed away, His niece (who used to live in the same house with him) was after his house and money so “M” sold off his house and went away from her to protect his property and wealth. We were happy to have him with us, we thought he would eat what ever we eat and share the chores of life with us.

Unlike other families in this city, we don’t have any servants. We wash our own clothes, we clean our house our selves. We don’t even have a gardener or a sweeper. We didn’t expect him to sweep the floor or wash the cloths but we expected him to at least take his own platters to the kitchen after the dinner, or answer the door once in a while.

As far as food is concerned we eat meat not more than twice in a week, our diet is usually lentils, vegetables some times continental dishes. My mom is an excellent cook, the best in our whole clan. We thought he would enjoy the verity of food but he does not eat anything but meat, he want fresh food every day. he doesn’t like Chinese, or English food and even refuses to try a new dish. If there are three peaces of meat in a bowl at the dining table, he pounce on it as soon as the bowl rests on the table and quickly grabs the spoon and fishes out the three only meet chunks in the bowl leaving just the curry for the rest of us.

Beside all those annoying eating habits he is taking away every bit of privacy from us. When ever mom and I try to have privet conversation he pop’s up from one place or another, we will find him walking to-and-fro by the room window or sitting on a chair by the door right outside the room, he does the same when mom’s on phone or talking to anyone including my father. He sits in the middle of the house and sneaks on every one when ever he thinks we are doing something privet. He tries peeking at my computer screen and tries to listen to my mobile conversations.

We are not financially rich we maintain a certain balance in our expenditure. He on the other hand has given us not a single dime in these 5 months. A few days back mom asked him to take responsibility of his expense over which he started crying and said that who ever he thought to live with said the same thing and said he will leave to Lahore to live with his wife’s brother who is willing to support him.

My Uncle (Khaloo) had offered him a job at his clinic his son, my cousin had also told him that he can work in his shop but he did not reply to any of them. A few days back my aunty (Khala) asked him to do some work, she said it is not good for him to sit idle all day. After khala left “M” said to my mom that even one is telling him to find a job, and my mom should tell my khala to mind her own business. My mom told M to say what ever he likes to Khala (his elder sister) him self.

A few days back when my cousin came to see us at around 11 pm, M was upstairs in his room, my cousin “F” stayed here with her kids and her husband for almost an hour. He didn’t came down to even say hi although he was not sleeping. The last time when “F” had brought for us snakes he had come down although it was after midnight. Before that when My cousin had visited us for dinner he had been eves dropping on her and moms conversation My cousin noticed him outside the kitchen window and the zipped up their lips.

Ever since he has come here, my mom had been on her toes, He wants his tea, dinner, lunch, and every thing on time and he expects mom to take responsibility of everything. I our home we only request mom for food, if I want pancakes or custard I request her and if she is too busy I do it my self. My father also often makes hi own Chapati, in our house we collectively work. He is the only one who orders mom as if it is her duty to provide him his tea and food in time.

He has passed sarcastic remark at everyone of us while sitting on a chair in the middle of the house, which is almost all he does throughout the day besides of course sleeping or going out for short walks.

He is my own maternal uncle but he is that odd peace which can’t ever fit into the jigsaw of our lives unless he changes him self at least a bit. He has been on our nerves ever since he arrived. I don’t know why we haven’t kicked him out, maybe it is because this is not America and we still care about what people will say. Or maybe we still don’t want to hurt him. I don’t know if I sound too selfish to be writing and telling about him like this, may be we are the wrong ones, may be we have changed so much that he is not adjusting with us. May be we have grown too liberal. I don’t know, I don’t want to know. I just need my privacy and the little sanity we had in our lives back.

* Sigh * or May be we are too selfish….

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The hell, I Am Going Through.

6 thoughts on “The hell, I Am Going Through.

  1. sakib says:

    The only thing i have to say is you family is more important then any body so who care what people thinks so kicked his ass out and be a man live with open mind not in box be brave or else people will eat you alive or all you guys world has been change be a broad minded FAMILY FIRST REST IS TRASHHHHHHH..

  2. Privacy is imp and when u go to live at someone’s house; u adapt…i dunnow he might be too old to change??? but he shud be considerate, specially to ur mom. She cant spend al day in kitchen. Our house’s system s very much like urs, and we too had a maternal uncle for whom we took responsibilty. But it was more than wot we anticiapted, bargained for…tough yrs…..its all behind us now….but hell…. i beleive in khidmaat , but not at the expense of other things….like ur peace of mind….hope he comes around…

  3. Yeah we cant kick anyone out on the streets… mom had a long talk with him and things moved from worst to better… I hope everything works out nice in the end .. We don’t want to end up breaking anyone’s heart …..

  4. wow..that sounds rough..
    i mean, i know you can’t chose your family, but i mean..
    when someone lives under your roof, they need to learn to tread by your rules, instead of this revolting display of lecherous bullying.

    You need to be firm, and question him the next time he tries to read over your shoulder – i understand how u feel, i greatly resent my privacy being invaded. Ask him if he wants anything, because you’re tryign to work
    be polite, but firm, and if that doesnt work, be curt- but not to the extent of being rude
    dont let his silent bullying push you around – its your house.

    he is living off your parents, but the long and short of it is, its your house, and YOUR space – fight for it!
    demand the level of privacy u require- i dont think he has much choice but to deal with it and toe the line – he’s not in a position to make a fuss,
    dont u think?! 🙂

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