Depressing Times

I was just about to leave for an art exhibition at a local art gallery when the news of a blast in Benazir Bhutto electoral address came in and I instantly decided to stay home observe the unfolding situation. Moments later I heard another Tv channel saying that Benazir Bhutto has been injured as a result of the blast n I was like “Ooh my god this cant be true” , My mom who too was watching the news instantly said “Thank god she is alive” .

Momentarily I went to my room booted my computer and turned the Tv on my pc on which has a wider range of channels, I switched to CNN and they were o found out that Geo is reputedly saying that BB has been assassinated. The news drained the blood out of my body, I was totally numb, speechless and in shock. How could such a learned, vibrant, and popular leader be killed with such convenience.

The news was too crude for me or anyone to digest instantly, by now it was allover the news channels, and as we were struggle to make some sense of what has happened I received a call from my cousin, her husband was in Sadar and was rushing home after he learned about the Incident, mobiles phones were merely working, even the small market in the residential area near our house had quickly closed down, There was a gridlock on the main roads of the city.

My phone rang, it was a call from UK, a concerned friend called in to see if I was ok, although safe hoe I was in no shape to talk normally, she must have noticed the tension in my voice, I am sure.

News of unrest around the city started pouring in my cousin’s husband was still not home at was 7:30, she and I were frantically trying to make a contact with him but mobile networks were all overloaded. Finally at quarter to eight My cousin got a word from him that he was well and is stuck in the traffic jam near Golimaar. I knew riots are taking place everywhere, and I was very concerned for his safety but I did not say anything to my cousin. At the very moment it occurred to me that one of my friends was to get married the very night, and so was a lady in our neighborhood, mom said they mush have been at the parlor…

At around 10:40 My cousin finally made it home safely, moments later I learned that another friend of mine had abandoned his car someplace safe and walked home, the facebook status of the bride to be showed she was ok as well.

That night My phone kept ringing people from all over the world called in, I received calls from India, UK, USA, Saudia, Dubai and Canada, all of them even those who were not the nationals of Pakistan were shocked, and couldn’t believe that the world has lost such a dynamic personality as Benazir Bhutto was.

A loop of emails of friends asking for a safe passage circulated local blog mailing list, I was in no position to reply or specially to give any directions as I had been indoors throughout. I was seriously depressed.

The same night I found a depressing comment on my blog accusing me of using derogatory remarks for Benazir Bhutto. I don’t know who had impersonated me and on which blog… I was too depressed, sorrowed and tormented to have cared anyways.

It will be a new year in two days, I don’t feel like sending any greetings anymore, I am too shocked, too depressed, too heart broken for any thing let alone celebrating a new year, and no I was not a follower of ppp but Benazir Bhutto was the only well educated leader we had, she was the voice of the people, she was a ray of hope, she was not just any leader she was Benazir Bhutto….

The country continues to burn in violence…

Sigh* We have killed so many leader, so many legend not to mention Gulgee too was brutally murdered a few days back and now her… What a shame.. How sad.. What’s next .. I am too depressed to make any sense, I guess we all are.

May Allah bless her sole, May Allah bless us and our country.

Depressing Times


She is sitting alone in the corner of an empty room wrapped in a white cloth stained by the blood seeping from her bruises and wet from the tears she has been shedding.

In the other room her mother is being comforted by a few friendly ladies, when she shrieks again “Ooh God they ruined us, disgraced us, why did they left her alive after blackening her face, I wish she would die”

She, a twelve year old tender child hear her mothers mournful cries, her pain intensifies, her body aches and her tears flow even more vigorously, she is shattering into tiny bits but there is no one to console her.

Her mother shrieks again “we can’t show our face to any one, they have corrupted my daughter, they have shattered our honor, I wish I would have died rater than being a witness of such a shameless incident. It is all her fault, it was she who wanted to study like a “mamsahab”, and see now she has painted our faces black ”

The guilt, the pain the agony mounts, she spots a knife lifelessly lying on a dish full of vegetable, left carelessly by her mother. “It’s all my fault, I never listened to my elders, I have brought dishonor to my family, let me ease their pain”. The lifeless knife comes alive, blood drips from it’s tip. The knife is noticed hours later clutched in a lifeless hand.

Sheeesh!… Silence!… Don’t dare say a word, you don’t have the right to mourn or cry, you are the mother who killed your daughter, you are the people who brought death to this innocent child. You are the culprits, the followers of a patriarch society where women’s worth is her virginity and her virginity a man’s pride.