A hopeless moment in life.

I had never thought it would be such a challenge to survive through a society where honesty rarely found, specially for someone like me who who is extremely sensitive and tries his level best to make sure every he is never even slightly dishonest to anyone around him.

All my life I have always detested hypocrisy and have done all in my might to live as honestly as I could but it seems the people of the society I was born in have seen and experienced so much of negativity, hypocrisy and dishonesty that they failed to accept a lunatic of my sort.

In the past three decades that i have spent on this planet earth I have experienced a lot of hardships, I was taken sheer advantage of for my honesty since my early childhood even by some of my close relatives. People thought I wouldn’t notice, but no one is born a compleat fool so well I did and I started to draw lines not to let them use me upto a certain point .

This started to filter out a lot of foes from my friends, literally leaving me almost alone. Later iLife I started to work for NGOs but soon I realised but then I realised that people working for a cause too were actually taking me for a ride. And again I started to draw more lines and made sure again that I am not taken advantage of the process of falling down face first getting up riding again, adding more guards and yet being stabbed in the back yet again in a different manner continues till date.

With time and experience I learned that when one is being honest s/he automatically starts to expect the same from others and tends to trust people more often and more conveniently, I also realised that during the practice since you tend to be truly sincere with others you give out a lot of information you shouldn’t have. and people knowing you inside out do figure out your weaknesses, and playing with your emotions, manage to bluff and backstab you more conveniently.

But all these backstage, taking advantage of and being used ( or abused ), had never put me off, it only made me more stronger and better but but in the course of time what really brought me down and and has probably now shattered me completely is something completely different.

There are countless good people who i came across in this period of time who have at one point or another have seriously questioned my sincerity, honesty, sensibility and even my sensitivity . They continue to try and figure out why I am have been so honest, why I am so caring and they always come up with bizarre conclusions and decide to get rid of me. They are so frightened of their own insecurities or maybe they are just taken back by the alien personality that i seem to have, which at this point in my life i can’t Really change, scares them really far away from my life.

In short people refuse to understand me they are either busy figuring my alternative motives or ways to use and abuse my intentions but sadly their are none who would take inspirations from me, or trust enough to work hand in hand. They are collectively draining my energies and making it more difficult to survive through it all.

Yes i believe everyone needs some people who won’t question their intentions, and be with them as friends or maybe its only me who has this weakness but at this point in life, today while typing these words I am seriously thinking of going into an isolation and starting a new journey to find a place with better hopes and a slightly more sensitive people. a place which would have atleast some positivity rather than having nothing to cling to and no one around who would be willing to understand.

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A hopeless moment in life.

On womens’s day – 2013

Today is International Women’s day and as a social human rights activist i am forced to ponder how many women were we actually able to help during the past one year, how many women any NGO working for the rights of women in this country was able to help and how many would we be able to help if the situation remains the same and the answer is clearly not a positive one.

Women rights are hardly acknowledged in this country. On this eve of women’s day just this morning an article which appears in the Pakistan todayĀ  talking about a press conference held in Islamabad by Aurat Foundation and Democracy Reporting InternationalĀ  whereĀ  Farkhanda Aurangzeb, representing Aurat Foundation. is quoted to say ā€œPakistan ratified CEDAW in 1996 but despite passage of many years there are a lot of areas where it is not implemented. Significant problems in Pakistan persist with regards to participation of women as voters as well as candidates,ā€ .Ā  But its not just the assemblies in but most importantly also in the law enforcements agencies where there are only a few women holding the top ranking posts where they too feel dominated by their male counter parts.Ā  As a result when a woman takes her case to the court she has to deal with a brigade of these male police force investigating and dealing with her case, They would question and investigate her to minute details making her feel even more uncomfortable violated rather than protected.

On a slightly different note The Nation reports the Punjab chief minister Shahbaz SharifĀ  telling people ā€œThe Punjab government has taken revolutionary steps, during the last five years, to ensure protection of women rights, and to provide them equal opportunities, due to which women are now playing a vigorous and effectual role in progress, prosperity and development of the country,ā€Ā  but the Chief Minister seems to have completely over looked the fact which appears in thisĀ  report and i quote the source ” Last year alone, as many as 2,713 cases of violence against women in southern Punjab alone, according to a report by Awaz Foundation Centre for Development. Many of these included walking on burning coal to prove innocence, abduction and torture after abduction, acid attacks, Panchnayat decisions and much, much more. What is even more startling is the fact that this report focused on reports from merely 15 districts and 53 tehsils. It is a startling reminder that there must be a number of unreported cases and how terrifying the overall picture could be for women in the country. “ .

In another yet another article which appears in TheNews today shows results from a research (interviews) conducted by Rutgers World Population Foundation in “Dera Ghazi Khan, Muzaffargarh, Jacobabad, Kashmore, Jafferabad and Naseerabad ” to evaluated domestic violence against women revealed stunning results _ the newspaper report says “Around 66 per cent of total interviewed women of a survey on violence against women said that they experienced sexual violence whereas 93 per cent said that they experienced marital rape.” .

besides these there are countless number of cases which go unreported in the major cities of the country including Karachi , Lahore and IslamabadĀ  of rape and Violante against women, while in the past few years a number of bills for protection of the rights of women have been passed but sinceĀ  infrastructure to support and properlyĀ  implementĀ  is missing these laws are practical rendered useless .

With elections just around the corner, I hope the upcoming government will ensure that these laws are properly implemented, gender equity as practices not only in the assembly but in all the governmental offices, Specially in the law enforcement agencies. I hope the Chief Minister Punjab Mian Shahbaz Sharif ( because at least he spoke on this issue ) also considers would consider to take practical measures to curb the Violante against women in the Punjab region at least and also think about but working hand in hand with the already existing NGOs and extending his support to them.Ā  For the rest of Pakistan i hope the leaders realize the sensitivity of the issue and start to consider working towards ending Violence against women and end this gender inequality.

As part of this society we the people too have the responsibility to speak up and highlight these issues for our rights and the rights of our coming generations.

 

On womens’s day – 2013

Story of Hajra

Living in the low income area of karachi, Hajra had recently got married, her husband Asim was a sales representative at one of the small departmental stores in karachi. They had just started the journey of their lives and were trying to barely meet their ends. but it all too a turn to the worst when one night after completing his shift Asim was returning home on his motorbike when all of a sudden he heard loud sounds of gun shots, before he could realise what had happened he was lying of the road, off from his bike bleeding and in pain . Lucky for him he managed to call his wife and he was rushed to the hospital. Three months later today although he has survived, he can’t do much work, and needs constant medical support his wife now a mother of a baby girl works double shifts at different homes as a house maid to keep the family fed, Asim may not be able to live a normal life now. He doesn’t know why he was shot and who shot him. But he was indeed lucky to have survived in a city in which every day almost over 10 people daily are shot to death, 10 people means 10 families suffering the loss of a breadwinner for the rest of their lives and loosing a loved one for reason unknown.

Story of Hajra

Little the human rights activist can offer.

Looking at countless stories of sexual assault, murder and attempted murder in the name of honour, stories of children subjected to violence and sexual assault at times even by one or both of their parents is the toughest job to have. It takes some real courage to listen or record the account of such a victim. specially when you know that the law enforcement agencies in this country are neither prepared nor trained to deal professionally with any of such cases which means for such victims very little hope of getting any support from Pakistan’s legislative system , not because the laws are not there, they very much are but since there is no implementation of a system which could ensure the evidence is not tampered with everything falls apart.

Their are countless NGOs working in this country trying to provide shelters to those women and young couple only because their own immediate family is after their lives, providing support to those who have been subjected to sexual abuse , providing counselling and medical help to the kids who have been brutally sexually and physically abused but their are hardly any culprits who are caught and punished for such crimes.

As a result if we look at the crimes usually reported to the police, you will hardly find a few of sexual violence against women / children . those trying to escape an honour killing too avoid going directly to the police and do file a report via an NGO or through a TV channel who do all this to show it’s their social responsibility while all they care about is getting their ratings up .

So what’s the hope for such survivors ? I guess us the social workers can continue the battle for their rights give them all the support we can , brew us little unseen tornados and try being their voice but to really help them we can only council them and teach them to deal better with the situation they are in and tell them they are not alone.

Well I know that is not enough but look at Mukhtara Mai case , after all that noise and international attention when did we get ? Well we all know that…

But the end is just not just this, we all have to continue to raise our voice and keep telling the law makers and rulers what improvements are needed so if not today than tomorrow things can take a better shape and the future if not for us than for our children can be better.

Little the human rights activist can offer.