The curser is blinking, the fear that if I start to compose sentences out of words I would end up loosing the pearls I am holding in my hand, I am too afraid opening my hand and looking at them, they may not be real, they may have turned into chickpeas, or green-peas. No I am just clutching them tight so tight I may end crashing them under the pressure of my palm. Too tight and they will scratch and break, too loose and they will fall away and vanish. If I look at them they are sand if I don’t they are still pearls.
When each time you have held a flower and the flower tried its very best to poison you to death, each time you have held a gem, it burned through the palm of your hand entered your body, reached your heart and left serious burns to it, what else would you expect.
To type, one has to open the palms, I don’t know how I am typing this, trying to hold the pearls in the palm, scared they may also burn holes in my palm and travel through my body to my heart, afraid I will crush them to ashes in a brink of a second. Afraid to accept I have them because it can very well again be a myth like it has always been….
I live in a magical world for sure, where red turns a sad pale yellow, where soft, the moment you touch it becomes thorny, hard and rough. Where light is blinding white and the paths only go through the darks , where creature sneak upon you from the blinding brightness and the dark is filled with silence, and the silence and so extreme that its shattering your very core and jolting your very base and cracking your soul bringing it on a verge of shattering….
And I wakeup … or have I now slipped into a dream..
If I write, ink will start seeping through the walls , if i write the darkness of the ink will swallow all that surrounds , if i write the truth will shatter all that is fragile, delicate and beautiful !
” Walking on thin ice, any moment now and i am down in freezing waters and dead with hypothermia … “
- Don’t go for his money, see his mind. He should be intelligent, open-minded, compassionate sensitive.
Why: If he is intelligent he will never go hungry, he will know ways to make money, he will know to deal with the issues of life he will know how to resolve issues. Money just deals with the superficial issues, deeper issues need wisdom to resolve them
- He should be someone you are comfortable being your self with, someone who you can cry, laugh, stink be awkward and yet feel not the slightest bit of discomfort, someone who you would tell a secret knowing he wont judge. Someone who is thinking on your own mental frequency
Why: You are spending your whole life with this person, you don’t want to be fake, you don’t want to be compromising all your life, you don’t want to hide the yellow / pink dresses just because he hates that color, or leave your friend because he doesn’t get along with him ….. It may not get you for a few months or years but later in life it will hit you and will drain you and damage the individuality of yours.
- He should be happy watching you flourish should be the one giving you wings and happy to see you more successful then he is, This is very rare in men, they usually like woman to see women dependent on them . He should be your courage, he should be boosting your moral, telling you your faults but also helping you overcome them.
Why: Because you have to grow and be equal in a relationship to enjoy life, because the problems are to be dealt with by both of you, at times you can be wrong or he can be wrong and you can fight and he can fight but the arguments font undermine you of make you feel week or dominant.
- He Should speak your language ( urdu, not regional language ) / know your culture, know your society, and customs .
Why: This is someone you will be spending your whole life with, when you talk about poem, literature, your traits of upbringing the attitude of society, the lifestyle or what you have picked from your culture and your upbringing only a person from this cultural background can understand It , and for a deeper, comfortable, understanding, bonding where both of you can understand each others issues its always best that you know all these things inside out to completely understand your partner.
- Looks don’t matter, he can be skinny, macho , blond. If he is mentally compatible with you , overlook the looks, overlook his styling sense , overlook his dressing.
Why : If he feels good, if he makes you feel good, you don’t need an eye candy for the people to see you need a soul mate to shine your soul, and make you feel you are walking in the air, you need no money to be happy, you need courage, wisdom, freedom, and intelligence to be happy and successful . What will you do of the looks if the man is hot as hell but mentally drains you every day of your life.
- Last but not the least , If he values his parents, if he values his relatives, if he values his friends , he will surely value you , he will surely respect you and your family and your friends.
Why : This is very important because at times his parents my be wrong and you point that out and he may get angry but remember he is wise and sensitive, he will sort things out he wont side with any single party he will go for a resolution rather than going bananas ..
- Oh , and I was just reminded that I forgot this one very important point so Yes Age is just a number. Older is better but younger is not a down point at all ..
Why : It’s the mental maturity that counts, if he is wise and knows how to deal with you and life don’t worry if he is old or young, but usually older guys are wiser. And the wiser your partner is the better for you and for the kids too obviously .
so my friend here are 6 points, in my opinion to look for when you search for a person you would like to spend the rest of your life with.